


Follow the Warmth

by Alex_Wolfe



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, no one dies, what if Clarke got shot and not Lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:08:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25821157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_Wolfe/pseuds/Alex_Wolfe
Summary: Clarke gets shot by Titus instead of Lexa... This is her pulling through from her point of view.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 3
Kudos: 120





	Follow the Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahaha this has been sitting in my drafts for ages and it's angstier than what I usually write... but I'm on vacation so why not post it.

The last thing Clarke sees is panicked green eyes... and then everything just disappears.

It's quiet. Peaceful. Clarke feels weightless, like she's floating... in water?... air?... it doesn't matter, it feels nice.... comforting. All of her worries are gone and she can just stop... stop what? Why does she like that it's all stopped? There's a flash of... something... a voice. 

"Clarke..." a distant voice says. It sounds worried. Clarke doesn't want it to be worried. Why is the voice that makes her warm worried? Makes her warm... she's warm... but she's also cold. There's another flash... of a feeling. Something sharp. Clarke doesn't like it, she shrinks away, wanting to go back to the nothing. 

"Clarke!" The voice is clearer, panicked. Clarke feels guilt. She shouldn't worry the voice... but the nothing feels so good. She's tired. Everything stopping sounds nice. Why is she so tired? She shouldn't be tired, she's just floating in nothing. Except she's not floating... she can feel she's laying on something... flat... there's another flash of that sharp feeling, followed by a pulse. 

"Clarke, hodness, please, come back to me," the voice is still worried, but it sounds so soft... so soothing.. and that feels better than the nothing. The warmth that seems to fill Clarke's soul when she hears that voice. There's a new feeling... of worry, why is the good voice worried, a feeling of... of love... Clarke loves this voice... Clarke needs to make sure the voice is ok.

Clarke pushes through the nothing... trying to move forward... she struggles, it's not like you can push on nothing. The more she moves, the more she feels... a burning sensation in her chest... painful, like fire. It pushes at her, the pain wanting to push her back down into the nothing. But she pushes on, breathing harder as she starts to claw harder. The nothing is heavier now... more like water than air. Don't stop moving, she thinks.

"Hold her down! Clarke, honey, baby girl it's me, you're ok, it's ok," another voice, one that brings mixed emotions to Clarke. She doesn't trust the voice... but she still cares for it. "Dammit, Jackson, where are the sedatives?"

"No," the warm voice says, but it's hard as steel now, and elicits another feeling from Clarke. Oh she likes when the voice gets like that... it's a whole new warm feeling. "She needs to wake up..."

There's a pause and then a growl. "She's right, Abby... if we put her under again there's a chance she won't wake up." A third voice... Clarke kind of trusts this one. 

"Fine," the second voice bites out. There's some other noises, Clarke can't even guess at what they are. Without the conversation to distract her though, that fire in her chest comes to the forefront of her mind. There's a whimper... and Clarke's hands twitch. When did she leave the nothing? She's now very aware she's lying on a hard flat surface... and her body slowly starts to check in with her mind.

She hurts, most of that pain centered around her chest. Her hands are twitching, from relaxed to flexing, her breathing is rough. She can't open her eyes... she wants to, but it feels physically impossible.

"Shhhh, hodness, I have you," the warm voice, Lexa, says gently. Something rough but warm envelopes one of Clarke's hands, squeezing. There's a whine. Oh... Clarke's making those sounds of pain. 

"Hur..." Clarke tries to speak but her throat feels like a desert, her tongue thick,heavy and unwilling to move.

"You are ok, Clarke. You are strong... but don't push yourself, skaiprisa," Lexa's worried again, it makes Clarke frown. Why was the commander so worried?

The blonde tries to swallow some spit, but there's barely any and she huffs in frustration. Unfortunately this causes the pain in her chest to flare up terribly and she cries out brokenly in pain. 

"Clarke! What happened?!" The second voice, Abby, returns shouting.

"I'm not sure, I believe she breathed too hard," Lexa's voice sounds hard... but Clarke can hear the undercurrent of worry. It seems Abby couldn't though.

"I think you should leave the room, Commander." The doctor says with ice in her voice.

"N-no," Clarke croaks out. Dammit if only she could open- there! Blue eyes force themselves open, and immediately regret it when bright lights stab into them. The blonde hisses softly and squints, wanting to lift an arm and cover her eyes. "Bright..."

"Jackson, turn the lights down," Abby says quietly, partly shocked Clarke wanted Lexa to stay but mostly relieved her daughter has woken up.

"Clarke.." Lexa's voice is so soft... the softest Clarke has ever heard it. She turns towards her, smiling at the tender look in the commander's eyes.

"Lexa... you're so pretty, stop looking so sad..." Clarke's breath hitches as a sharp pulse of pain stabs through her. "So... do I want to know what happened? Or why my chest hurts?"

Lexa's jaw clenched as anger flashes across her eyes. "Titus." It looks like the name leaves a bitter taste on her tongue. "He took one of those.... guns," Lexa trips over the unfamiliar word. "And shot you... well he would have shot me, but you jumped in front of me." Lexa frowns. "Don't do that again, Klark."

Clarke glares. "One, don't tell me what to do. Two, oh that asshole! I'm going to kill him! And three, I need you alive Lexa... you're too important to lose."

"You're too important to me!" Lexa shouts. The room goes silent, Jackson wishing he was anywhere but here... and Abby wishing Lexa was anywhere but here. "Leave," Heda commands the two.

Abby opens her mouth to protest but Clarke cuts her off. "Mom, please."

The doctor storms off, Jackson only too happy to follow. There's another awkward silence that Lexa breaks. She cups Clarke's cheeks gently, thumbs brushing under her eyes carefully. "I can't lose you, Clarke... not you too..."

The tears start rolling down Clarke's cheeks, the first sob hurting so badly and yet it's like a phantom pressure in her chest is being relieved. "I need you, Lexa... god the thought of... I just... I almost lost you!"

Lexa's hands tighten a bit, a fire flaring in her eyes. "And I almost lost you... I'm sorry, Clarke, I should have kept a better eye on Titus. I never..."

Clarke shakes her head and starts trying to pull Lexa down by her sleeves. The commander catches on but resists. "You're injured, Clarke."

"I don't care... I don't. I'm tired of just surviving. I'm tired of putting aside what I want for my people. Fuck them. I want you, not them." Clarke pulls harder, gasping harshly when it causes a worse pain to spread inside her.

"Ok, Clarke, ok just... just stay still." Lexa strokes blonde hair gently, carefully and oh so deliberately positioning herself next to Clarke. She lets Clarke press into her, draping an arm very lightly across her stomach. "I've got you, hodness..."

Clarke immediately calms down as Lexa surrounds her... as the warmth that pulled her out of the nothing fills her again. 'I love you," Clarke thinks, eyes fluttering closed as exhaustion pulls her into sleep.

"... Ai hod yuin as well, Klark kom Skaikru," Lexa whispers, kissing the blonde's forehead. This wasn't a mistake... and it was time Lexa started living her own life.. and stopped letting people dictate what she did. She was the Commander of the 12 clans... she was Heda... and it was time for things to change. She would burn the world for Clarke... but she's pretty sure Clarke would prefer a more diplomatic approach... they'll see.


End file.
